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Barefoot Couple

Couples Therapy with the Gottman Method 

The aim of this effective method is to overcome past hurts, increase intimacy and friendship, address conflicts productively, enlarge mutual understanding besides building a life of shared meaning helping move towards a deeper connection.

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What is the Gottman Method?

The Gottman Method is founded on the extensive research conducted by Dr. John Gottman, which commenced in the 1970s and is ongoing. This research has concentrated on identifying the factors that contribute to the success or failure of relationships ("Masters of Relationship" vs "Disasters of Relationship").

 

Based on these findings, Drs. John and Julie Gottman have developed a therapeutic approach aimed at equipping individuals with specific tools to enhance friendship, emotional connection, and intimacy. Additionally, the method assists couples in effectively managing conflicts by employing teachable skills to address communication issues and resolve long-standing problems that may have become entrenched. As a therapist using this method I help you to recognize the strengths of your relationship while gently addressing its vulnerabilities.

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How does the Gottman Method work?

Distanced Couple

Session 1

Together with the couple I will try to understand what their current challenges are and explore their “love history”.

The couple fills out a Relationship Check-up Questionnaire through
Gottman ideally completed before individual sessions.

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Sessions 2 & 3

I will meet individually one-to-one with each partner to understand better their individual history and their perspectives on past experiences in the relationship.

Holding Hands

Session 4

Together with the couple again, I will give a report and detailed feedback on the strengths and challenges along with a treatment plan. Together we decide how to proceed further.

"The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work" Workshop

Benefits of couples therapy

  • Improve communication skills

  • Identify harmful relationship patterns

  • Understand your couples’ strengths and challenges

  • Build love maps to know your partner better and feel closer to each other

  • Manage conflicts and deal with gridlocked problems

  • Grow affection and admiration

  • Accept your partner’s influence

  • Rebuild and/or maintain an emotional connection

  • Overcome a betrayal and heal your relationship

  • Have a better sex life

What are some key techniques from the Gottman method?

Addressing the "Four Horsemen"— criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling —requires understanding their antidotes to promote healthier communication.

 

Key strategies include building love maps to deepen understanding, expressing fondness and admiration to foster positivity, and using mindfulness and breathing exercises to stay present. Managing emotional flooding through calming techniques can also help regulate intense emotions and improve connection in relationships.

What kind of problems is the Gottman method the best?

  • Difficult Communication

  • Frequent Conflicts

  • Emotional Separation

  • Problems with Sexuality

  • Betrayal of any kind

  • Financial Issues

  • Co-Parenting

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  • How long is the therapy going to take?
    As a practitioner of brief therapy, my focus is not on establishing a long-term commitment with you, but rather on equipping you with the necessary skills to enhance your relationship. Typically, it may require approximately 25 sessions to experience improvement in your partnership; however, it is important to note that therapy is not a universal solution and varies for each individual.
  • Is couple therapy worth the costs?
    Your relationship represents a significant investment, possessing remarkable potential for growth and improvement in your life. However, it is common for couples to grapple with the question of whether therapy justifies its expense. I am here to assist you in evaluating the costs and benefits associated with couples therapy. Several factors should be taken into account regarding this inquiry: - The average expense associated with divorce, including attorney fees, ranges from €12,000 to €15,000, contingent upon the typical hourly rate of a lawyer, which falls between €150 and €200. In the case of a contentious divorce, this amount may be incurred by each party individually, in addition to the continuous costs associated with sustaining separate households. - Research indicates that couples experiencing relationship difficulties are considerably more prone to having weakened immune systems, increased levels of stress hormones, and other indicators associated with premature mortality (Robles & Kiecolt-Glaser, 2003). Indeed, an unhealthy relationship can potentially reduce one's lifespan by approximately four years. - Creating a healthy marriage can have intergenerational effects, as children witness and experience the effects of a healthy relationship. - The vast majority of couples (around 75%) experience significant improvement in their relationship when the therapist is using an evidenced-based model such a the Gottman method. (Gottman, 2015).
  • What is online therapy like?
    Couples LOVE the online therapy option as you can relax in the comfort of your own home even on the sofa with pet. Online therapy frees you from the stress of childcare, traffic to and back to the office and finding a parking.
  • How often do we meet with you?
    Ideally I like to meet with couples twice a month.  It gives you time to work and implement new tools between sessions and is more cost effective.  
  • Are you going to tell us to divorce?
    NO, I may have my reservations, but my primary focus is to assist you in navigating your relationship challenges to enhance both your well-being and that of any children you may have. If your objective is to improve your relationship, I am fully committed to supporting you in that endeavor. Conversely, if you are considering separation, I will ensure that the process is amicable and preserves a sense of friendship. You will determine your desired path, and I will provide guidance to help you reach your destination in the most effective manner.
  • What are your rates?
    Individual session: 50 minutes 120 EUR. Couple sessions: 60 minutes 150 EUR or 90 minutes 210 EUR. Besides weekly sessions, you can ask for Marathon couples therapy. These are couple sessions lasting from one to three days with 6 hours each. If you are interested, please write me a message for more details.
  • What is your cancelation policy?
    Sessions not cancelled at least 48 hours in advance will be fully charged no matter the reasons.
  • What are your confidentiality agreements?
    Counseling is strictly confidential. No information whatsoever can and will be disclosed to any third parties without your consent.
  • What video conferencing platform do you use for online counseling?
    I use Zoom for Healthcare. This platform has HIPAA Compliance & GDPR to ensure your privacy is protected.
  • Do you take insurance?
    I don’t take insurances but a lot of insurance companies provide some reimbursements upon a receipt of the session. Please get the information directly by your insurance provider to know what you would need in case of an eventual reimbursement.

Ready to start your therapy journey?

Visit my online booking page

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Contact Me

I provide online sessions due to various factors that can influence your choice of therapy.

While need is an important consideration, other elements such as time, availability, and lifestyle significantly impact our decision-making process and the services we ultimately select.

 

My objective is to facilitate a seamless and comfortable experience for you when seeking assistance, which is why this online platform has been established.

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© 2025 Tanja Niederschick

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