Couples Therapy with the Gottman Method
The aim of this effective method is to overcome past hurts, increase intimacy and friendship, address conflicts productively, enlarge mutual understanding besides building a life of shared meaning helping move towards a deeper connection.
What is the Gottman Method?
The Gottman Method is founded on the extensive research conducted by Dr. John Gottman, which commenced in the 1970s and is ongoing. This research has concentrated on identifying the factors that contribute to the success or failure of relationships ("Masters of Relationship" vs "Disasters of Relationship").
Based on these findings, Drs. John and Julie Gottman have developed a therapeutic approach aimed at equipping individuals with specific tools to enhance friendship, emotional connection, and intimacy. Additionally, the method assists couples in effectively managing conflicts by employing teachable skills to address communication issues and resolve long-standing problems that may have become entrenched. As a therapist using this method I help you to recognize the strengths of your relationship while gently addressing its vulnerabilities.
How does the Gottman Method work?
Session 1
Together with the couple I will try to understand what their current challenges are and explore their “love history”.
The couple fills out a Relationship Check-up Questionnaire through
Gottman ideally completed before individual sessions.
Sessions 2 & 3
I will meet individually one-to-one with each partner to understand better their individual history and their perspectives on past experiences in the relationship.
Session 4
Together with the couple again, I will give a report and detailed feedback on the strengths and challenges along with a treatment plan. Together we decide how to proceed further.
Benefits of couples therapy
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Improve communication skills
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Identify harmful relationship patterns
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Understand your couples’ strengths and challenges
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Build love maps to know your partner better and feel closer to each other
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Manage conflicts and deal with gridlocked problems
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Grow affection and admiration
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Accept your partner’s influence
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Rebuild and/or maintain an emotional connection
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Overcome a betrayal and heal your relationship
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Have a better sex life
Addressing the "Four Horsemen"— criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling —requires understanding their antidotes to promote healthier communication.
Key strategies include building love maps to deepen understanding, expressing fondness and admiration to foster positivity, and using mindfulness and breathing exercises to stay present. Managing emotional flooding through calming techniques can also help regulate intense emotions and improve connection in relationships.
What kind of problems is the Gottman method the best?
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Difficult Communication
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Frequent Conflicts
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Emotional Separation
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Problems with Sexuality
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Betrayal of any kind
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Financial Issues
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Co-Parenting
Couples Intensive (Marathons)
The Couple’s Intensive is an excellent option to accommodate your busy schedules if you feel that it will be difficult for you as a couple to attend weekly appointments or not having enough time for an ongoing therapy. I offer a personalized, condensed, and highly focused approach to help your relationship move quickly through specific issues while learning important new skills in a short period of time (1 to 3 days) without the frustration of stopping and waiting another week or two.
In order to make the best use of our time together, you will be asked to complete the Gottman Relationship Checkup prior to your first day, so that I can hit the ground running during the very first session.
Online only:
Program
1-Day Intensive (6-hours total) Assessment and PDF Relationship Tool Kit Included
2-Day Intensive (12-hours total) Assessment & PDF Relationship Tool Kit Included
3-Day Intensive (18-hours total) Assessment & PDF Relationship Tool Kit Included
Who wouldn’t be a good candidate for this service?
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if you are not committed to the intensive nature of this therapeutic process and/or your relationship
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when there is an ongoing or undisclosed affair
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when there is serious violence in the relationship
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if you or your partner is suicidal or suffers from an untreated serious mental illness
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when there is addiction of one or both partners
What to expect
1. Strengthen respect, affection, fondness, admiration and closeness in their relationship.
2. Enhance romance and intimacy
3. Deepen their understanding of each other’s inner world and emotional needs.
4. Improve communication skills to navigate conflict discussions with greater calm and manage conflict constructively
5. Identify and overcome common relationship pitfalls that lead to gridlock.
6. Develop practical strategies for managing differences in a healthy way.
7. Build a solid foundation to sustain relationship happiness and long-term success.
8. Create shared meaning
9. Maintain gains throughout a lifetime
Couples intensive schedule:
Prior to the session clients will complete the Gottman Connect Assessment (exact times listed below may vary).
Day 1 (Assessment & Intervention Phase)
9:00 – 10:30AM (Assessment Phase): Gottman Oral History Interview, including current relationship challenges and strengths, your history of the relationship, how family of origin influences on strengths and challenges with communication, and current goals for therapy.
10:30-11:30AM (Assessment Phase): Individual Sessions (45 minutes each) The individual time allows for a deeper exploration of family of origin influences and space for each person to freely share their perspectives on the relationship.
11:30 – 12:30PM (Assessment Phase): A feed-back discussion of Gottman Connect Assessment Results, which includes: an overview of the Sound Relationship House and growth areas and strengths in the relationship based on the assessment.
12:30-1:30PM – Lunch Break
1:30 – 4:00PM (Intervention Phase) One of following possible Interventions (based on your goals and the assessment results): Managing Conflict Interventions (e.g., Aftermath of a Regrettable Incident, Dreams w/in Conflict/Navigating Perpetual Problems, Identifying the Negative Cycles/Patterns) & Friendship System Interventions (e.g., Exploring Love Maps & Sharing Fondness & Admiration).
Day 2 (Continue Intervention Phase)
Cover interventions from Day 1 that weren’t completed or move more deeply into those interventions and underlying attachment fears and needs.
Address any topics and issues that weren’t covered on Day 1
Day 3 (Plan for Maintenance/Continued Progress Phase)
Continue interventions from Day 2 and establish maintenance/continued progress plans, including a schedule for ongoing sessions or check-in sessions.
Connect Assessment (exact times listed below may vary).
Info & Registration:
Contact me to schedule our next available one, two or three day intensive. Once scheduled, 75% of the cost of the intensive must be paid in advance and is non-refundable.
Within a week of the appointment, the remaining 25% must be paid in full.
Cancellation policy – your sessions are reserved exclusively for you and your partner. If you need to cancel or reschedule your appointment for any reason, appointments must be cancelled at least
1-week in advance to avoid the charge for the remaining 25% fee.
Contact me for rates and booking possibilities for this service
Frequently asked questions
Contact Me
I provide online sessions due to various factors that can influence your choice of therapy.
While need is an important consideration, other elements such as time, availability, and lifestyle significantly impact our decision-making process and the services we ultimately select.
My objective is to facilitate a seamless and comfortable experience for you when seeking assistance, which is why this online platform has been established.
